I arrived in Romania just in time for the first really cold days of the season. As I pulled out my jeans and sweaters several little mice also sought warmth in the House of Hope. This homemade mousetrap has always been one of my favorite examples of Romanian ingenuity. We caught five mice!

Of course, there are always a cheeky few who snatch the walnut and escape the jar. No one deserves more applause than my teammate Carol Stillings who spent her first night in Romania with a little mouse pushing his walnut across the floor of what sounded like the space under her bed!

In my first post, I mentioned how it strange it was to see the kids so grown up. To give you a better idea, I thought I would post these then-and-now pictures of Flavius, Teo, and Mircea. This first one is from 1999 on their first day of kindergarten.

Eleven years later, this picture doesn’t even do justice because Flavius (who is 6 feet tall) and Mircea aren’t standing up straight!

Every fall for the last three years I have run a 1/2 marathon called the Golden Leaf with a group of friends. The race takes place in Aspen, CO, on the weekend when the leaves turn gold. I got to enjoy a second golden leaf event while visiting Poland with my boyfriend, Ben. My father’s family immigrated to the United States from Poland and I’ve always wanted to visit. So before I left Romania, Ben and I visited Krakow and Auschwitz (a remarkable experience that I haven’t yet processed well enough to write about).

Krakow is a charming medieval town with a stunning Catholic church on every corner (you know, like Starbucks in the US). It is also the hometown of Pope John Paul II. On a little path that was once where their city walls stood, they have planted trees with these amazing, gigantic golden leaves. There was really no choice but to throw one’s self down and make a golden leaf angel.

Now, if you were thinking earlier that the fate of the mice in Romania is sad, you may not want to continue reading because the fate of the chicken (not to mention the pig) is much more so. So as not to rob Ben of experiencing any part of the Romanian lifestyle, he was given his own chicken to slaughter, pluck, and eat. (They did make the chicken soup for him.) 

I want to say that I truly felt your prayers on this trip and I am grateful for them. I know I could not persevere without knowing that there is a body of believers upholding me.  Please know that you have been a part of making a difference in the lives of these children. Thank you for allowing me to be your ambassador. Next year, I hope you can join me, too!

During the week, while the kids were in school, we took one more trip through the countryside of Romania while the fall colors were at their peak. I have a very loyal personality, but as we drove through the Transylvanian Alps even I began to think that these mountains, with their vivid red, green and yellow, could rival the beautiful Rocky Mountain range that I call home. (I know, I know, some of you will say: blaspheme!)

The rest of the week was spent meeting with our foster parents and our local director to discuss our current needs and future vision. The families are wonderful, committed and very capable. The needs are still many. I’ve been praying constantly, asking God to give me wisdom to prioritize the needs; to know what to provide and what to say ‘no’ to as we plan for 2011. I am often fearful going into these conversations; afraid that the needs I will hear about will be beyond what we can provide.

In His gentle and consistent way, God again showed me that He has gone before me. As I entered this phase of my trip, He surrounded me on every side with mountains as a 9000-feet reminder that He is greater than our greatest need. Just like David did in the Psalm, I found myself looking to the Maker of the mountains for help. Not just financial help, but for courage and faith. I asked that He would never let me forget that He is one who began this work and He will see it through. These things were on my mind as we drove through one particular mountain pass. As we rounded a serpentine corner I looked up and literally saw a cross standing on the top of the mountain.

A Reminder of God's Sovereignty

The range of needs is both humbling and exciting. The kids need tutoring; that means they are in school and they are passing! (Romanian students almost always get outside tutoring to pass final exams in high school.) They also need some extra-curricular activities to de-stress and get some exercise. They’ve got plenty to do during the summer, but winters are hard and dreary. It’s especially important for kids who have suffered the trauma of abandonment to have an outlet for their emotion and aggression. The fact that we even have money to think about spending on extracurricular activities is a testimony to the blessings God has already given us. On top of that, the fact that we have this insight on how to more effectively help our kids work through their pain is another testimony to His provision.

On the humbler side of things, one of our foster families literally told me that they do not know how they will keep their house heated this winter. Even “potatoes,” “carrots,” and “wood” were on their list of needs. Some are out of work and/or working unofficially (this is not good; it is technically illegal and they are not insured, but it puts food on the table). Yet I see that they give 100% to the children in their homes, and I know that they are not in this position by choice. Despite the BMWs you now often see on the streets; life is still hard in Romania. The EU has fixed the potholes and cleaned up the buildings, but if you look closely you will find little cracks in the façade. If you slip through them you will find the middle and lower classes of society who still cannot afford to care for their children or put food on their tables.
The needs are great, but we will face them with courage. And we will not worry about what we will eat, drink, or wear. For our Heavenly Father knows that we need them.

Please check out the pictures and meet the kids (pdf). We ask for prayers for where God would lead us to support these children.  Specifically, we pray that we would be able to send someone to visit the orphanage as an important first step to moving into a more committed and lasting partnership. The orphanage does not receive much support currently and we hope this will be a first step to increasing the support and partnership with the orphanage.  If you feel moved to give to Kathryn E. Larsen Orphanage, write India in your memo line when you send us your check.

Enjoying Romanian pastry "langosi"

Tata Roni with Mircea, Robi and Teo

After three days on the road, and covering a good part of the mid-western countryside of Romania. I returned to Arad a little tired but in good condition. The team and I drove to the mountainous city of Brasov, which is the city that receives the largest amount of tourists each year due to its charm and ski opportunities.

Along the way we stopped and saw one of Romania’s many medieval castles, walked through the beautiful city of Sibiu, as well as a village museum spread out over 98 hectors of land (we only covered about 10%!).

Evangelical Church in Sibiu

The girls and I spent a day serving in a hospital in Brasov, holding the babies who had no mother with them. In Romania, many infants from outlying villages get brought to the city hospital by ambulance when they have a cold, infection, or fever. The problem is: their parents, who cannot always provide food and warmth (especially in the winter), never come and get them! That leaves many now-healthy babies lying in cribs all day without human interaction. It also turns the hospital into a temporary orphanage and fills beds that are needed for the babies who really are sick. Parents often think they are doing a good thing for their children. They don’t realize the effects of abandonment and isolation on a child do far more damage to their little brains than poverty ever will.

She was a doll...

Babies...

So the girls and I got to hold some sweet babies who were so excited to have human interaction. Some of them stand up and reach through the bars while jumping up and down… like a child whose mother comes to pick them up from the church nursery, only we are not their mothers and these children had never seen us before. Some stayed in their cribs babbling to themselves and hardly noticing that we were in the room. Some of them immediately snuggled up and laid their heads on my shoulder as soon as I picked them up. Nearly all of them cried when we put them down.

It is a drastic change after visiting our homes in Arad where the children are grown, cared for, and adjusted. They still suffer from their own abandonment, but our foster parents are pouring love into those empty places in their hearts every day. To step outside our little Global Hope world and see that the cycle continues; to see that there is more work to be done and that the workers are few brings a flood of raw emotion. The Psalm I’ve been reading this week tells me that God is enthroned on high, and stoops to looks on the heavens and the earth –and I’m reminded that He is enthroned over everything that troubles me. My challenge this week is to keep my focus on Him.

Me and my little guy, Simon.

Quilling ornaments for our fundraising banquet.

The girls flew out on Saturday, but due to fog their flight was delayed and they ended up missing all of their connections. They made it home, but not without spending a night in the airport! Yuck! Christine began to get sick less than 24 hours before they got on the plane, so I know she would appreciate your prayers for continued healing.

I thank you all for your continued prayers. I’m half way through my trip here and still have a lot on my plate to accomplish. But I definitely feel the support of those who are back home praying for me.

My first week with Debi Grebenik, the therapist and clinical social worker who traveled with me, was a whirlwind. She presented to our foster parents as a group, and then we visited each family in their home and spoke one-on-one with them. We listened to their stories, their desires, and their challenges. In each home they clearly expressed a personal calling from God to care for these children, and how they sense His strength and provision during the more difficult seasons with the kids. Debi was able to explain more about the damage that abandonment does to their little brains, and why our children behave and respond the way they do. She was amazed at how many of our parents seemed to instinctively understand—or had figured out—how to meet their needs, even in ways that seem counterintuitive to most of us.

When a child has been abused or abandoned, healing is found in relationship. Everything you do, including discipline, will be successful to the extent that it is done in relationship with the child. It takes a lot of patience, forbearance, a willingness to do and say things over and over again, and an ability to look beyond bad behavior to the wounds that motivate it; treat those first and then attend to the behavior. It is very much like the way the Lord deals with His children… it’s not all scolding and punishment. He is slow to anger and abounding in love; He allows us to experience the consequences of our own sin while telling us over and over again how much He loves us.

If you’d like to read Debi’s blog and her impressions of our week together, see http://dgrebenik.wordpress.com

Even though I know that it is infinitely better for the kids, sleeping at the House of Hope (where we all used to live) is a bittersweet experience. Every corner holds a memory—or two, or three, for me. In my mind’s eye I can see Cristi chasing his rubber power balls down the hallway, I see Simon crossing the kitchen floor in his walker, I can hear Mircea—who never did have an “inside voice”—yelling, “I want more!” If the walls could talk they would tell story after story of the laughter, tears, victories, and friendships that were forged here.

It‘s a bit surreal now. The kids walk around in much bigger bodies, but I can still see the little boys and girls in them. Their eyes, their voices, and their gestures give them away and I know these are the same little hearts and minds that I spent such a big part of my life with. I feel pressure to accomplish all that’s on my plate this month, yet I know that the most valuable and precious time spent here will be spent in conversation, playing games, and just being with them.

On Saturday, Debi went home and Christine, Carol, Dean and Hannah arrived. We had a great day on Sunday going to church and eating lunch with the kids, and then took a stroll around town to admire some of the architecture. Today we were able to go to the hospital and hold the abandoned babies there. We ended the day by butchering a rooster, a duck, and a turkey. I won’t go into detail… it was pretty gross!

As long as I’m on the subject, we’ve also killed two mice, and another one keeps escaping the trap and taking the walnut with him! Then I hear him in the dark pushing it across the wooden floor—and stopping to chomp on it every now and then.

As usual, Romania has its peculiarities: strong coffee, ketchup on pizza, cows walking down the street next to cars… but it is a beautiful country and I still feel completely at home here. There are no strangers, just a great big, extended family that I haven’t seen for awhile.

It’s been difficult to sing as my hearing is getting worse every day. I’ve been thinking about what I will do if I am able to attend university next year but cannot sing. I feel like I would die if I can’t sing because I always believed God gave me this gift to use for Him and also to earn a living. I pray for sponsors, for healing, and to be able to sing on the stages of Vienna, London, and Paris, and show the world that it doesn’t matter if you come from a children’s home, or you don’t have a family, you can still become something in life. It doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have, what matters is that you work hard.

I also celebrated my 20th birthday this month.

Ready or not, the changing of the seasons brings it’s own specific tasks; whether it’s spring cleaning, summer garage sales, raking the autumn leaves, or shoveling the winter walk each morning.

Fall was always my favorite time of year in Romania, because it brought an opportunity to do something that, for me, was exclusively Romanian—bringing in a harvest.  We picked apples, cherries, peaches and plums. Then, after a lot of prep work, we enjoyed the smell of sweet jam cooking on the stovetop. (Sorry, no pies.)  We shelled walnuts until our fingers were bright purple. (A word of caution to American visitors: change a single consonant in the Romanian word for “nuts” and you’ve got the word “boogers” –and you don’t want to tell people you’ve been picking those!) Eggplants and peppers were cooked by the basketful and canned for the winter. Cucumbers and cabbage were placed in huge barrels with a recipe of spices that would turn them into pickles. And, as Thanksgiving is to the turkey in America, so fall is to the pig in Romania… I’ll say no more. (Don’t name the pig, he’s not a pet.)

Ana’s House, known for their entrepreneurial spirit, has a motto: if you want something, you have to work for it.  Their garden project this year brought in an incredible harvest and even a little extra pocket money. A larger crop meant weekend trips to the “piat(s)a” (market) to sell the extra produce. The financial net wasn’t much, but the experience was priceless.  A local Italian restaurant, Gio, bought fresh vegetables from Radu weekly, so he is especially skilled in growing Italian favorites such as zucchini, parsley, lettuce, and five different types of tomatoes!

The annual exposition for local non-profit organizations gave the kids another opportunity to earn some cash.  Fundatia Caminul Sperantei set up their booth and sold their handmade greeting cards and gift boxes, while Teo provided her exceptional talent for face painting to those who stopped by to make a purchase.

If that’s not impressive enough, the kids pooled their money together and sent a financial gift off to Kenya to bless children affected by HIV at the Rescue Center in Nairobi, where Roni went as a mission team member earlier this year.  Their generosity never ceases to amaze me. The fact that they never forget how far the Lord has brought them, and their eagerness to turn around and give back to others, is a testimony to the kindness of their hearts and the gentleness of their spirits.

They are growing up fast and it’s exciting to watch how God is molding their hearts and minds.  It feels as though our steps have been small, and still are, but we’ve covered a long distance.  Just months prior to what would have been the 10 year anniversary of the House of Hope, we closed its doors. Tears well up just thinking about the reality. I remember sitting at my desk at work and getting an email with the news that bags were packed and “parents” had arrived to pick up their new charges.

The transition to foster care has been challenging to each one of us in different ways. As our foster parents and children adjust to their new families, we see more and more pockets of sunshine; like Marian learning to read and Ionuti taking guitar lessons. Our little girls Alex and Cristina have a new dad who grew up in an orphanage himself, and knows the road they’ve traveled. The Lord continues to provide in ways we couldn’t have invented ourselves.

I often have to remind myself that every new beginning brings it’s own challenges.  I remember 10 years ago when we opened the House of Hope with four toddlers, direct from the orphanage, who had no idea how to eat with utensils. (They did know how to hit, scream, rock, and jump off furniture!) Fast-forward three years later as those toddlers entered first grade. We discovered new ways that institutionalization affects children, and were told by too many teachers, “They can’t learn.”

As we settled in for the long haul, each passing day brought new growth. As personalities bloomed we watched each child learn, change, and improve.  Before long they were independent, unique and yes, even smart –brilliant, actually. (Teodora took first place in a national Scripture memorization contest last year. It turns out they can learn.) And the ultimate bright spot:  they have all asked Jesus into their hearts, and many of them have made public proclamations of their faith through baptism.

A French journalist once wrote, “In the depths of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”  The same is true for our children. This summer they planted a garden. This fall they harvested it’s crops and gave from their hearts to those who had less than they.  We welcome the changing seasons.